Cattle by numbers 
New Zealanders are now outnumbered by 5.8 million dairy cattle according to Statistics New Zealand's latest agricultural production survey. New Zealand has a human population of 4.3 million. The number of sheep in the country has provided fodder for endless jokes. In the HBO television series Flight of the Conchords, a New Zealand tourism poster can be seen in their manager's office bearing the slogan: "New Zealand, ewe should come". In 1982, the national sheep flock peaked at 70 million. The number has since more than halved. "In 2009, New Zealand had fewer than eight sheep per person," explained agriculture statistics manager Gary Dunnet. 
(9 February 2010)

Distinguished discourse 
The New Zealand accent has been declared the most attractive and prestigious form of English outside Britain. In the BBC survey, Britons responded to an online survey rating the prestige and social attractiveness of 34 different accents of English. The New Zealand "fush and chups" came seven places ahead of Australia's "sex and Seedney" — and nine ahead of the American accent in terms of attractiveness. Director of AUT's Institute of Culture, Discourse and Communication Professor Allan Bell said that the survey has shown that New Zealand English is relatively close to the prestigious British accent. "On the social side, it seems to represent generally positive British attitudes to New Zealand and New Zealanders," The New Zealand Herald quoted him as saying. Bell also said the fact that British rate New Zealand English so highly is ironic, because studies of New Zealanders' attitudes show they prefer British English to their own accent. 
(12 October 2009)

Ace transformer 
Aeronautic machinists 23-year-olds Adam Turnbull and Dan Melling have "knocked the bastard off" and crossed the Cook Strait in a converted amphibious 1990 Toyota Town Ace van travelling the 65-km distance in nine hours and 45 minutes, becoming the first ever such vessel to cross the stretch of water. The pair were met by a crowd of about 200 people at Mana Marina, who greeted them with a heroes' welcome as the van, named 'Roofliss', drove unscathed out of the water. "We are definitely pretty stoked. It [the crossing] has got to be up there. She's pretty high in New Zealand achievements," Melling said. "We made it and we didn't sink and we didn't get eaten by sharks." Turnbull and Melling welded all the van's doors shut, fitted steel panels inside, and used three 44 gallon drums of expanding foam pumped into cracks and crevices to ensure the vessel was watertight and floated. 
(6 September 2009)

Flight from the top 
New Zealand world and Guinness record skydiver Wendy Smith was one three daredevils to leap from an aircraft at a record height of 9000m in the skies above Mount Everest, free-falling for one minute at speeds reaching 290kmph. Smith, a freelance cameraman, is part of an international group of 32 amateur and professional skydivers who paid $NZ35,000 each for the challenge, most jumping from the less formidable height of 5500m. The jumpers, taking part in the week-long Everest Skydive 2008 event, hurtled past the highest ridges of the snow-laden Himalayas, before each released a parachute, made three times the size of a normal canopy to cope with the thin air. They wore oxygen masks to prevent their lungs from collapsing as they fell. Wearing neoprene underwear was compulsory — to prevent them from being frozen to death. "I had never seen so many mountains before," she said. "To be on top of the world was simply stunning." Another New Zealander, Molly Bedingfield, mother of singers Daniel and Natasha, also took part. 
(6 October 2008)

Moko shocker
US pro cyclist David Clinger has joined the list of international celebrities sporting “moko inspired” tattoos, which includes Mike Tyson and Robbie Williams. Clinger’s version covers the upper half of his face and most of his scalp. “I was having new experiences throughout the world,” he says. “I read about this stuff in a book why they did it and what they did. Well, I didn't read it, but I saw the pictures.” Clinger’s team management has ordered him to remove the tattoo – a long and painful process which is expected to cost upward of $10,000. His original design set him back $150.
(2 March 2005)
   

Fagan wields his golden shears
Legendary NZ shearer David Fagan earned his fifth world title before a crowd of 3,000 at Scotland's MacRobert Theatre. Fagan's de-fleecing of 20 sheep in 14 minutes 51 seconds reportedly created "a crescendo of noise and fervour which hadn't been seen on the showground since the last impromptu young farmers' striptease outside the late lamented Herdsman's Bar."
(25 June 2003)
   

Bugger
A Cultural phenomenon has reached Asia, and it has bugger-all to do with Bulgarians or heretics, but something to do with a car advertisement, a racehorse and climbing Mt. Everest,
(10 March 2000)

New Zealandese?
"'They're fighting the 300-pound gorilla. Good on them,'' said Mark de Frere, a marketing manager for Advanced Micro Devices, using the New Zealand phrase equivalent to 'godspeed'."
(16 November 2000)

Towel rage
Staff at the Rotorua Polynesian Spa were menaced by a naked customer, furious that he hadn't been provided with a towel. The customer walked naked into the foyer, pushing a computer off the front desk to express his displeasure.
(2 November 2000)

Touring Scots experience Hongi and other quirks of New Zealand culture
Such as this unique local solution to the Fijian Crisis, on observing the Scots training an onlooker reportedly said: "what you should do is use that big fellar as ram on the door of the Parliament House in Suva, this other feller to crash tackle George Speight to the floor. Crisis Over." We'll see if they're up to it after the test this weekend ...
(8 June 2000)
    

Does this man have a government scholarship?
It’s more cost-effective than traditional space-flight, and it’s spiritually enriching…the New York-based International Institute of Projectiology and Conscientiology has been guiding consciousnesses' astral bodies through the extraphysical dimensions since 1988. Kiwi attorney David Lindsay, who is a student at the Institute, says he gets odd reactions when he explains his studies.
(5 September 2000)

Too tricky Poneke
The King William's College quizz is "fiendishly" difficult - but one question should be easy for Wellingtonians.
(17 January 2001) 

Speed baa-rrier
Shaun the New Zealand Drysdale is doing community work in England's Lake District - he attracts motorists' attention, slowing them down for a second glance.
(4 January 2000)

Jewels valued
A New Zealand testicle is worth £4 500, but the Australian version is valued at £130 000. 
(1 December 2000)

Vowel interpretation 
The Auckland Regional Migrant Services Charitable Trust has set up classes to help foreigners understand the New Zealand accent and translate the daunting flattened vowels which turn "fish and chips" into "fush en chups". Nazli Effendi, who created the course, said several aspects of New Zealand communication flummoxed newcomers. "One of the things that migrants identify as being difficult is the speed at which New Zealanders speak," Effendi said. As well as decoding a heavy New Zealand accent, the course focuses on phrases that could be confusing to anyone coming to the country, not just non-English speakers. A distinct New Zealand variant of the English language has been in existence since the last 19th century, when English novelist Frank Arthur Swinnerton described it as a "carefully modulated murmur." 
(5 May 2010)

Gender balanced 
New Zealand women are the most promiscuous in the world, according to a global survey on market research website onepoll.com which found that women in this country had an average of 20.4 sexual partners in a lifetime. Sexologist Dr Michelle Mars puts the result down to the failings of New Zealand men. "New Zealand men aren't very good at picking up women unless they're really drunk. So what tends to happen is that women are just as likely to ask men to have sex as men are to ask women," The New Zealand Herald quoted Mars as saying. "While a lot of people would read that statistic quite negatively, I think it's quite a positive. It's more of a gender balance in people getting the kind of sex they want," she added. 
(14 March 2010)

With a hiss and a roar 
Nelson hovercraft inventor Rudy Heeman is auctioning his unconventional vehicle on TradeMe for a reserve price of $20,000. Heeman's machine is a hovercraft in the conventional sense, but with the addition of detachable wings, the vehicle cruises at 56mph when flying, has a range of more than 140 miles, and reaches a height of about 10 feet. The sale has already received more than 100,000 hits and has shot well past the reserve price. Heeman, who has been building hovercrafts as a hobby in his back yard for more than 13 years, said this is his first flying model. He says on his website: "It has been called all sorts of things, including aircraft, aeroplane, hovercraft and flying boat. It is in fact a WIG [a wing in ground effect] in the form of a hovercraft. This machine is fast and furious; it roars like a lion and is not for the faint-hearted. It is adrenalin-pumping and exciting. Having a go on it is like a bungee jump, however, the thrill lasts as long as the ride." He said he was selling the craft because he needs the funds to get started on more "secret projects". 
(3 March 2010)

Claim to fame 
Napier antiques dealer and former New Zealand hockey representative Kevin Percy, 74, is claiming to be the rightful heir to Alnwick Castle, the family home of the Earl of Northumberland, on an estate conservatively valued at $685m. He has written to the Queen to seek her support for the exhumation of the 5th Earl of Northumberland, who died in 1560, to see if the remains match his own DNA. Percy has spent years working with genealogists and the London College of Arms to try to gather evidence for his claim that his family has been denied their rights to one of Britain's most famous dynasties. Percy said: "I can think of nothing worse than going to my grave without knowing I've done my best for my family and our bloodline. I and my New Zealand family are not trying to cheat and deceive." Alnwick Castle, which celebrated its 700th anniversary this week, was also the backdrop for the film Elizabeth, starring Cate Blanchett, and the television series Blackadder. Percy represented New Zealand at hockey at the 1960 Rome Olympics. 
(21 November 2009)

Basically extreme 
An image of a New Zealand base-jumper against a backdrop of Kuala Lumpur's skyline is one of the BBC's 'Week in Pictures'. Ninety-eight base jumpers took part in the annual International Tower Jump leaping off the 421m Malaysian building; the fifth tallest freestanding structure in the world. The extreme sport involves wearing a parachute and jumping from fixed objects. The word base stands for the four types of surface from which you can jump: buildings, antennas, spans (bridges) and earth (i.e. cliffs). Malaysia hosted the first base jump back in 1999. The numbers of spectators and participants in this annual event continues to increase every year as the sport grows more popular. 
(23 October 2009)

Pesky boy inspires 
Beano character Dennis the Menace was based on a New Zealand boy called Robert Fair who was a childhood friend of the cartoon character's creator David Law, and a frequent visitor to the Law family home. Fair, now 62, emigrated nearly 40 years ago after joining the merchant navy, and has only just found out that his juvenile pranks — which included frightening pals by jumping out and throwing spiders and worms at them — formed the basis of one of the most popular strips in comic book history. The secret has been revealed by Law's daughter Rosemary Moffat, who was herself the inspiration for Beryl the Peril. "Robert was a little brat when he was a boy and my father based Dennis's energy, movement and sense of mischief on him when he was doing his drawings," she told the Sunday Times. The grandfather-of-six said that it was a "great honour" to discover the news. "I remember reading Dennis the Menace as a boy and all these years I have never known that was me, that was my character. I think it's fantastic," Fair said. Law created Dennis in 1951. 
(4 October 2009)

Looking for the lost 
Veteran polar expedition leader New Zealander Rob McCallum is leading the search to find the submerged seaplane wreck which had been carrying Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen to the Arctic island of Spitsbergen in 1928. McCallum, who is project coordinator of the two-week expedition, will use a remote-operated underwater vehicle with sonar to search for the Latham 47 flying boat. The former head of the Department of Conservation's Auckland conservancy, McCallum told BBC News: "We are using equipment that can get down to 20cm resolution (on the sea bed). So we can detect very small items indeed. If we can't detect anything within that search area, then the mystery will probably remain forever, because Amundsen could be anywhere within the Barents Sea." McCallum said all that might remain of the plane after so many years are its engines, because the rest of the aircraft was made of perishable materials such as plywood. A veteran of several seasonal expeditions cruising in the Antarctic, including a full circumnavigation of the continent in 2001, McCallum was expedition leader for the 2005 RMS Titanic Expedition. 
(24 August 2009)

This is really a dog 
Gisborne dog owner Cheryl McKnight believes her 6-month-old Maltese puppy Scooter, which stands at just 8cm tall, is a Guinness World Record potential for the smallest dog by height. McKnight says he hasn't grown at all since he was 2 months old, and she believes he won't grow any taller — certainly no taller than the current record holder, an American Chihuahua. Scooter eats from an egg cup, weighs less than a block of butter, sleeps in a shoebox and apparently has his share of challenges as a result of his stature. McKnight fashioned a regular purple sock into a jersey, which Scooter wears so he is easily seen around the house. "It really is quite something. I can't take him for a walk or put a leash on him." 
(14 July 2009)

Bet on the Baa Blacks 
The town of Methven (population 1200) recently hosted a sheep-race, which saw two teams of eight "professionally trained" sheep speed round the local pub and over barrels at speeds of over 40kmp/h. Organiser and trainer David Cone, who has been a sheep breeder and wool consultant for more than 30 years, says he has been astonished by the level of interest in the newly conceived sport of sheep-racing. "I'm starting to get inquiries to take my flock all over New Zealand," Cone said. "We ran a day-time event earlier this year and five thousand people turned up. We're starting to take bookings three years in advance." His intense secretiveness about almost every other aspect of the sport hints at how competitive he expects things to become as its popularity increases. Asked by the Telegraph how he trains his animals to race, he replied: "Can't tell you that, it's a trade secret." 
(8 July 2009)

Identity theft 
A Fiordland kea made off with a Scottish tourist's passport when the man's tour bus driver opened the luggage compartment of the vehicle. The passport has not been recovered and, given the 4,600 square mile size of Fiordland's alpine national park, it was feared unlikely to be. "Being Scottish, I've got a sense of humour, so I did take it with humour, but obviously there is a side of me that is still raging," he told the Southland Times. "My passport is somewhere out there in Fiordland. The kea is probably using it for fraudulent claims or something." Known as "the clown of the mountains", the native green parrots have an irresistible interest in anything new or shiny. Experiments have shown they are capable of solving logic puzzles, such as pushing objects in a certain order to obtain food, and they work as a team to achieve a common objective. 
(29 May 2009)

Surprising fruit 
A feijoa shaped like New Zealand's national bird, the kiwi has been bought by a Christchurch businessman for $1000 who says he will preserve the quirky fruit. Auckland woman Shavon Green found the freak-of-nature feijoa in her backyard. "There were a couple of legitimate, regular feijoas and then there was this little fella that looked just like a kiwi," she said. Her son was going to take the fruit in for show and tell, but then the Green family decided to put it up for auction on the internet. Green is now keeping her eyes peeled for more odd-shaped pieces. "Someone said to me I better check my pear tree — I might find a partridge," she said. 
(5 May 2009)

Whisked debate 
Helen Leach, an academic at Otago University, is hoping to settle the origins of the pavlova with recipes found in a 1933 Mothers' Union cookbook and in a 1929 rural magazine, both calling the dessert a pavlova and stipulating the same ingredients and method used by modern cooks. Australians have long believed it was created in 1935 by a chef called Bert Sachse, at Perth's Esplanade Hotel, in honour of the Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova, pictured, who visited Australia in 1926 and again in 1929. While many New Zealanders resent Australia's habit of appropriating anything or anyone famous to emerge from their country, trans-Tasman rivalries are generally light-hearted. Australian television personality, Rove McManus, raised hackles in New Zealand recently when he described the country as "the cousin at the party with the short trousers". 
(11 April 2009)

Catch him if you can 
Whitianga self-confessed hacker Owen Thor Walker, 19, who was alleged to have been involved with a criminal network which infiltrated more than 1 million computers worldwide, has been hired by TelstaClear as a cyber security consultant. Walker has skills that can help senior executives and customers understand the security threats to their networks, TelstraClear spokesman Chris Mirams told National Radio. Charges against Walker — who used the online name "AKILL" and wrote so-called botnet infiltration programs for the crime network — were dismissed and he was released without a criminal record after paying a fine and forfeiting cash paid by the criminal group for his expertise. Walker has delivered a series of seminars for TelstraClear, advised senior security and management staff at the company and has taken part in an advertising campaign, Mirams said. 
(25 March 2009)

A classical reaction 
Waitakere City has been using classical music to deter vandals and loitering youth, driving them away from a local transit hub with remarkable success. Bob Harvey, mayor of Waitakere, says there has been no defacing or damaging of art works and sculptures in the area since the music was switched on. "We have been playing... Mozart, Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky, and a dash of Dame Kiri," says Harvey, adding "it's probably Dame Kiri that does it, but (young vandals) don't stay around long." Officials in Christchurch are planning to follow suit, preparing to play some Barry Manilow in a central shopping plaza, in order to deter aggressive youth. After all, "if its not your music, and you really don't like it all, why would you, how could you, stay around?"
(5 March 2009)

Dreamy transformation
Aucklander Nadya Vessey, who lost both legs to a childhood illness, now swims as a mermaid might with a custom made wetsuit created for her by Wellington's Weta Workshop. Vessey approached Weta with the ambition of making a tail that was both practical and beautiful and is delighted with the finished article. She added: "A prosthetic is a prosthetic, and your body has to be comfortable with it and you have to mentally make it part of yourself." The unique articulated construction of the tail allows her to propel herself through the water with an undulating movement as if she was a mermaid. The tail includes a poly-carbonate spine and tail fin that has been digitally printed with a stunning 'scale' pattern designed by one of Weta's concept artists. Vessey says she is thinking of using the tail to help her complete the swimming section of a triathlon. She said: "I thought rather than just having it as a plaything, I would take it further." 
(26 February 2009)

On board solo 
Rob Thomson, 28, a Canterbury University arts graduate from Christchurch, has completed the longest unassisted skateboard journey ever made, travelling for 462 days over 12,000km from Leysin, Switzerland across Europe, North America and China to Shanghai. Thomson said other long distance skateboarding feats had involved support teams and he had wanted to do his unaided, carrying his own gear and being self-sufficient. "I took a couple of years of my life to put myself outside of my comfort zone," he told New Zealand's National Radio. After a rest in Shanghai, Thompson will return to New Zealand and bike from Auckland home to Christchurch. He hopes to have the odyssey recognised by Guinness World Records. 
(3 October 2008)

Away damn Spot!
Does a bottle of water keep the dogs at bay? A New Zealand man claims to have made it up to fool his aunty...
(17 May 2001)
    

Pre-natal aerobics
"Aim for a flet tummy," says the kiwi instructor.
(2 April 2001)

Thief with an eye for quality
Canterbury man Stuart McPherson doesn't just steal video players - he rings their owners to complain if they're not top-of-the-line.
PDF Copy
(8 April 2001)

Tentacle tales 
Wellington amateur videographer Victor Huang, 31, has become a YouTube smash with his recording of a curious octopus making off with Huang's brand-new camera, and then his spear-gun. Huang was diving near the Wahine Memorial between Breaker Bay and Moa Point on Wellington's south coast when he spotted the "cheeky" cephalopod. Putting his camera up close to get some footage as the octopus clung to a rock behind a clump of kelp, it suddenly thrust out a tentacle, grasping the camera. "Out of nowhere it just completely shot straight for me," Huang said. In an initial panic, Huang said he "freaked out" for a bit to free his arm before realising the octopus only clung to the camera. "He swam away very quickly like a naughty shoplifter," he said. 
(18 April 2010)

Strange dealings 
The "ghosts" of a man and a woman exorcised from a Christchurch woman's home have been sold in phials of holy water on Trade Me for $2830. The auction attracted more than 200,000 page views on the website. The top bidder, electronic cigarette company Safer Smoke NZ, said it was looking for ideas on what to do with the ghosts. Avie Woodbury told bidders she had experienced "bizarre activity" in her home. "I would get things like the jug boiling itself, touching on the back of my neck, voices from other rooms, and items going missing then turning up in weird places," she said. But after a member of a local spiritualist church performed an exorcism in July last year, the house had returned to normal, said Woodbury. She said all profits from the sale would be donated to an animal charity, after she had paid the exorcist's fees. 
(9 March 2010)

UFOs on edge
The Chief of Defence Force Lt. Gen. Jerry Mataparae has reportedly briefed two NZDF officers to begin the task of assessing classified details of UFO and extraterrestrial-related files. Reports quote a letter from Lt. Gen. Mataparae to UFOCUS NZ indicating that files may be transferred to Archives New Zealand subject to extensive embargo periods in terms of access by the general public. 
(16 February 2010)

Butter on ice 
The world's oldest block of butter — believed to have come from the Canterbury Central Co-operative Dairy Company, formed in the 1890s and based in Christchurch — has been found in the stable area next to Captain Robert Scott's Antarctic hut. The building, with its shelves of tinned food, bedding and clothing, offers a remarkable snapshot of the conditions faced by Scott and his men. Freezing temperatures have preserved the building's contents, but increased snowfall over recent years has put the fragile structure under threat, prompting the Antarctic Heritage Trust to launch a preservation project. Members of the Trust were working on the stables next to the hut when they found the two frozen blocks of butter next to empty butter boxes. "I think the butter was absolutely a treasure find," Lizzie Meek of the Antarctic Heritage Trust told TVNZ. "It looked like an old wrinkly bag and you look inside and saw the wonderful Silver Fern logo," Meek said. She described the butter's smell as "very pungent." "What's amazing is how strong that smells," she said. "I'm not sure I'd want it on my toast." The team will now attempt to restore the butter, removing tiny pieces of grit that are embedded in it. It will then be placed back in the stables, where temperatures seldom rise above 10C. If it does not deteriorate, the team will leave it for another 100 years, said Meek. 
(16 December 2009)

Digging for a tipple 
Next year, a team of New Zealand explorers led by Glenorchy man Al Fastier will head to Antarctica to try to recover 25 crates of rare McKinlay and Co whiskey gifted to Ernest Shackleton for his 1909 expedition to the South Pole. ABC New Zealand correspondent Kerri Ritchie talked to Fastier about his forthcoming trip and whether or not the whiskey will taste any good a century on. Fastier said: "We will be spending some time at Shackleton's Hut and the purpose of going there is to excavate the whisky from under the hut. We found it in 2006 and due to weather conditions and the excavation has been delayed until this year. So we are very excited to get in and do the work this season." The Glasgow distillers which made it, Whyte and Mackay, had asked the explorers to bring back a sample of the whisky so it can carry out some experiments. The company's master blender Richard Paterson believes if the corks have stayed in place and the whisky has been airtight, the taste might not have changed and the distillers might be able to recreate it. 
(17 November 2009)

Letters to the editors 
"Small town" New Zealander and self-confessed letter addict, Andrew Prieditis, 30, has been published in over 60 newspapers globally in the past six weeks alone by writing 'letters to the editor' and supplying a false local address. "I just love it, seeing my name there. It doesn't even really matter what it's on, I just want to be part of the action. I've got things to say and the chance to influence people. That feels amazing," he said. Prieditis has also sung the praises of Sarah Palin in The Dallas Morning News, vented his spleen about the Middle East in the Jerusalem Post, and targeted countless others on topics from Barack Obama and the Olympics through to Somalia and the All Blacks. But his strategy has raised eyebrows across the internet's blogosphere, with the media site Allvoices.com, labelling Prieditis "a mischievous monkey from New Zealand". However, Texan journalist Kevin Whited praised him as a clever "citizen of the world". Prieditis himself admits the ethics of his strategy are "debatable" but he doesn't care. "Surely it's more about what I'm saying than where I live?" Next, he's setting his sights on the Sydney Morning Herald and The Moscow Times, while Time magazine "would be the ultimate". 
(14 September 2009)

Goats the new carrot 
Peter Wilkins of Mitsubishi Motors New Zealand launched an advertising ploy to increase sales of the Mitsubishi Triton with the promise of a goat. Buy a Triton — win a goat! Goats improved farm productivity by defending against weeds, were cheaper than toxic sprays, and there was no risk of goat flu affecting the tourism industry Wilkins told NZPA. "We are aware that three years of drought has severely depleted sheep and beef populations, so what better time to float the goat?" The bearded ruminants, like Tritons, he said, were "hardy, versatile units which will integrate directly into existing farm operations." 
(30 May 2009)

Dogs sacked 
British supermarket Tesco has ordered its largest suppliers in New Zealand, Silver Fern Farms in Fairton, Canterbury to stop using dogs to herd sheep into the abattoir. Tesco wants the shepherds to wave their arms, beat sticks or wave flags, to move the sheep into the abattoir. The surprise order from Tesco, which comes into force next week, came to light thanks to a letter sent to the Daily Telegraph by an upset reader. Mick Petheram, one of the shepherds, said: "New Zealand sheep are used to dogs, they know dogs. There's more stress in a human herding and manhandling them, waving their arms and beating sticks. Dogs are part of a sheep's life. This is absolute baloney." Tesco stood by its decision. "We don't have a problem with sheep dogs, but we need to make sure they move the sheep in a considerate manner, so they don't stress the sheep out," said a spokesman. 
(3 April 2009)

Accent on Mr Big 
Auckland University of Technology language expert Andy Gibson says Australian actor Matthew Newton, who plays New Zealand drug lord Terry Clark in the series Underbelly, is using "fush and chup" vowels where real New Zealanders wouldn't. "He sounds like the stereotype of how Australians think we sound, not how we actually sound," Gibson said. Ironically it was this line, "Us Kiwis have got to stick together", that really gave him away. "That just doesn't sound right," he said. "We don't speak like that." The second series of Underbelly is rating well in New Zealand with 409,200 tuning in this week to watch the latest installment in the adventures of Terry Clark, aka Mr Big of heroin drug ring fame. Clark, also known as Alexander Sinclair, died in Parkhurst Prison on the Isle of Wight in 1983. 
(13 March 2009)

Shaking off the shackles 
Waitangi Day is also World Nude Day, a day which originated in New Zealand and which this year promoted itself with the slogan "Nude not Lewd" and a US$10,000 "in gold" online prize for the best public nudity video. An editorial on Associated Content ruminates on the event: "I'm still not entirely sure what goes on in New Zealand, but I can tell you that for at least one day out of the year whatever is going on in New Zealand is happening in the nude. In fact, the need to 'drop trou' as the old saying goes is apparently so great, that World Nude Day is now celebrated all over the world." From the official site the story behind the day is explained: "Hidden away in the ass-end of the world (just as we like it) we New Zealanders have been hiding a secret. Like kids before Christmas we wait for the day, counting down the sleeps ... and when she comes, ohhh when she comes we embrace her with liberated souls, in the only way we know how. Nude!" 
(6 February 2009)

Rite of pastry passage 
Mince, steak, chicken and potato top pies are amongst a few of the popular pastry to be sampled in a two-week tasting marathon undertaken by Vancouver Courier reporter Michael Kissinger. According to a 2005 Statistics New Zealand Household Economics Survey, New Zealanders eat a total of 68 million pies a year. That's more than 16 pies for every man, woman and child. Kissinger stops in at the Ponsonby Rugby Club where pie-maker Tony "who calls me 'bro' a lot" urges him "to explore the outer limits of New Zealand pies, namely nacho, Tandoori and seafood pies." "I resolved to meet him half way. I would try to eat one pie every two days and sample as many flavours as my stomach would permit. But most importantly, I would let pies shape and colour my gastronomical journey of New Zealand and self-discovery." 
(22 October 2008)

Familial ties 
Gisborne has the highest concentration of the surname Blair - and Northland the surname Beckham - in the English-speaking world, according to a new website which enables the names of people to be tracked to the places they live. Set up by geographers at University College London (UCL), the site, www.publicprofiler.org/
worldnames has a database which holds 300 million names of people in 26 countries, representing a population of about a billion, or nearly a sixth of the world. The site shows in particular how Anglo-Saxon and Celtic names have spread over the globe with the English-speaking diaspora, with the result that they are sometimes more frequent in the former colonies than they are in the country of origin. The surnames Adlington and Cameron are most prevalent in New Zealand.
(30 August 2008)

Midget motoring
An eight year old boy hitting the motorway at 80k in his Dad's car was doing his bit to bring the average driving age down. Police stopped the boy who was "not fazed," by them, but worried about what his Dad would say.
(6 November 2000)

Technophobe now twit 
Auckland mother and self-confessed technophobe Lisa Etheridge, 39, is now an unwitting international Twitter celebrity. Etheridge — @lisatickledpink — was asked to sign up to Twitter for a Unitec design course, and her first tweet, "I hate technology," resulted in 25,000 followers, the top 2 per cent of all Twitter users. Etheridge's fame began when Kevin Ross, founder of social news website Digg, decided to pick a random Twitter account to follow, encouraging others to follow suit. Etheridge was unaware she was being talked about in front of an online audience of thousands. "I got home and went through my normal routine of looking through my emails from all over the place, and I didn't know what was going on," she said. Etheridge was getting an email alert every time someone started following her on Twitter. Technology broadcaster Leo Laporte of netcast network TWiT.tv also encouraged his 100,000 fans to follow Etheridge online and has given her the gift of tablet computer iPad. She will be the first New Zealand owner of the new technology. Watch the exclusive Kiwi Fm interview with Etheridge and Laporte on YouTube. 
(24 March 2010)

Record over ice 
Twizel adventurer Kylie Wakelin and six other women who made up the Kaspersky Commonwealth Antarctic Expedition have made it to the South Pole, cross-country skiing 900km over 38 days to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the founding of the Commonwealth. Wakelin, 36, is the first New Zealand woman to reach the site. Each woman towed an 80kg sled loaded with food, fuel and equipment. The significance of Wakelin's time in Antarctica had started sinking in only on her plane flight home. "It's just an incredibly beautiful landscape — when we arrived at the pole, I was trying to remain calm, but it was just an amazing feeling." Wakelin, who has worked in ski-touring and mountaineering, said the trip was different from anything she had done before. "It wasn't a technically difficult trip, but just endurance-wise, we had 37 days of skiing and one rest day — it really does start to wear you down." The best part of being back was "definitely free-flowing hot water and mattresses". 
(31 December 2009)

Carbon paw-prints 
Wellington-based eco-architects Brenda and Robert Vale, authors of Time to Eat the Dog: The Real Guide to Sustainable Living, include in their controversial book figures for carbon footprints of pets compared with other more well-known energy guzzlers. "A typical medium sized dog eats 164 kilograms of meat and 95 kilograms of cereals every year. It takes 43.3 square metres of land to generate 1 kilogram of chicken per year and 13.4 square metres to generate a kilogram of cereals. This gives your dog a footprint of 0.84 hectares, more than twice that of a 4.6-litre Toyota Land Cruiser." The couple has assessed the carbon emissions created by popular pets, taking into account the ingredients of pet food and the land needed to create them. "If you have a German shepherd or similar-sized dog, for example, its impact every year is exactly the same as driving a large car around," Brenda Vale said. The Telegraph's Peter Wedderburn says he is all for making good use of the planet's limited resources, but would stop short at eating the family pet. "What about getting rid of architects? Surely at this stage of civilisation we've already created a wide enough selection of dwelling places? And think of all the paper, ink and hot air that could be saved." 
(28 October 2009)

Anchor marks the spot 
Hamilton Niwa ecologist Aleki Taumoepeau went to great lengths to retrieve a wedding band which after only three months of marriage slipped from his finger into Wellington harbour while he checked for invasive plant species in March last year. And though there were no evil wizards to battle or violent orcs to slay, Taumoepeau's 16-month quest for the ring was just as epic and certainly more romantic than anything JRR Tolkien churned out. Moments after losing the ring, Taumoepeau tossed an anchor overboard to mark the spot, noted the position and promised his wife Rachel he would find it. She offered to buy him a new ring. He refused. Undeterred, Taumoepeau returned to the harbour a year later and plunged into the freezing waters armed with new co-ordinates garnered from Google Earth and his day job at Niwa. After an hour in the water, and a little prayer, Taumoepeau saw the anchor, and there, centimetres away, the wedding ring. 
(20 August 2009)

Bedroom dealings 
Westport couple Wayne Saggers and Kathy Wahrlich sold their bed and threw in six-bedroom historic Stone House in an online auction on TradeMe for $302,600 to an Aucklander named, Mike. The package, which had a reserve of $1, was listed in the beds category and was advertised as a queen-sized bed with a free grand old home and guesthouse attached. The couple had owned the house for three-and-a-half years, running it as a bed and breakfast. "We actually had it on TradeMe in the property category for six months. We only got 800 hits in six months, and 50,000 in 10 days (under the 'beds' listing)." Saggers said they are excited about being free of a mortgage, rates and bills. The takeover could be relatively quick, he said: "We will leave everything (but) we'll take our clothes and toothbrushes." 
(5 July 2009)

Mailbox manoeuvres
Palmerston North City Council has removed the number 13 from its street addresses, jumping from 11 to 15 so triskaidekaphobics, or those who fear the number 13, will still buy homes at that number. The council has now admitted the age-old policy is a little odd and says residents at number 15 can apply to have their numbers adapted if they really want. "But we don't expect great numbers will do that," council policy analyst Todd Taiepa told The Dominion Post.
(26 May 2009)

Pass the wallaby 
The increasingly ubiquitous wallaby may be the newest presence on the New Zealand dinner table, as municipalities around the country are being encouraged to consider different strategies to control their booming populations. The Australian marsupials arrived in New Zealand in 1874, and have flourished free from the predators and less hospitable habitats of their native land. Poison is currently being used to control populations, but the growing numbers are requiring on an increasingly creative response. A café in the self proclaimed wallaby capital of New Zealand, Waimate, does good trade in wallaby pies, and the councilors approved of the culinary options. The region's biosecurity manager Graham Sullivan said increasing the culinary market was a realistic option for the country. "Wallaby is quite nice to eat, just like kangaroo, so if a cottage industry was up for harvesting them for the table then fantastic, " he said. "It would just take somebody with the initiative and the dosh to set it up." 
(1 April 2009)

A new deal 
Phillip Alder of the New York Times describes "a tied world record," charting out an exceedingly rare occurrence at last year's national bridge congress in Hamilton, 60 miles south of Auckland. "New Zealand is one of the world's most beautiful countries, with climates from tropical in the north to Antarctic in the south. And the friendly residents are a major part of the appeal," writes Alder, in his bridge column. He then describes what turns out to be an intricate description of a singular bridge aberration, speaking of ruffed spades, dummy jacks, overruffed aces and one-no-trump rebids. The side-suit deuce takes the final trick in a trump contract - a surprise ending. "What won Trick 13? Dummy's spade deuce. When did you last see that happen?"
(27 February 2009)

Let cones be licked 
Chief judge for the New Zealand Ice Cream Awards and sensory scientist at Massey University Kay McMath has proved the dessert tastes better when licked from a cone. McMath said that the flavour in food is released when warmed inside the mouth. Licking an ice cream means the tongue is coated with a thin layer so it is more quickly warmed and the flavour is detected by the taste buds. Eating ice cream with a spoon tends to keep the ice cream colder for longer and delivers the sweet blob to the roof of the mouth before swallowing. The theory has surfaced because of Tip Top's Labour Day '1-dollar Scoop Day', when 600 dairies across the country offered cone ice creams at 1-dollar per scoop. 
(22 October 2008)

Tractor attention
Helen and Clyde Berkshire run the world's only Harvester tractor museum, in Indiana. New Zealanders have a special interest in the  display.
(15 November 2000)