Deported to the Colonies
London’s had enough of Generals Sir Charles Napier and Sir Henry Havelock, but their New Zealand namesakes would be proud to have them.
News of New Zealanders via Global Media
Sweaty Surgeons
Operations are hot work: surgeons sweat, drop skin flakes and contaminate their patients, according to an Auckland study. Space suits are a possible solution.
Jewels Valued
A New Zealand testicle is worth £4 500, but the Australian version is valued at £130 000.
Centrist Thinking
Geographical isolation meant New Zealand’s “great experiment” with “radically liberal economic ideas” was bound to fail…
Suterble supporter
Las Vegas casino king Glenn Schaeffer puts dollars into art, supporting Nelson’s Suter Gallery.
Millennial Change
Canon Paul Oestreicher “embodies the Church of the 2th century and its struggles”. Converted during his schooldays in New Zealand, Canon Oestreicher held controversial views on pacifism, Marxism and the ordination of women.
Kiss and tell
British politician John Prescott retains the edge bestowed by his starring role in New Zealander Fleur Adcock’s 1996 poem: “Our eyes had locked/we were leaning avidly forwards/lips out thrust…”
Pot Luck
Marijuana causes disease, phlegm and coughing fits, as well as mild euphoria. The wacky backy is as damaging to the lungs as tobacco according to research studiously carried out at Otago University.
Chiat/Day Edge
New Zealand “tough guy” David Fong gets Toronto ad agency into shape: “We have to be world class.”
Orca Warning
Orca in Wellington Harbour are a treat for onlookers, but authorities warn water users that the whales “don’t eat cucumbers”.
Because it’s 50 Years
June 2002 will see Nepal begin year-long celebrations marking a half century since Tenzing and Hillary knocked the bugger off.
Minus Fours
Nude golf will be swinging at the January Mackenzie Muster naturist festival near Lake Tekapo. Hole in one?
Habitat for Humanity
Global Village volunteers spend holidays helping some of New Zealand’s least-fortunate citizens.
Come Here, Deer
Deer velvet’s aphrodisiac properties are being scientifically tested. Positive results will lift an already firm export market.
Punitive Damage
New Zealander Helen Todd’s documentary inditing the Indonesian military for the Dili massacre screens at the Las Vegas CineVegas festival.
Howdy Mate
“Seems like American people are just too lazy to work,” says Colorado farmer Bruce Markham, who’s been using Kiwis to bring in the corn.
15% Pure
All ingredients in New Zealand and Australian food are to be labelled by percentage. “Meat” pie anyone?
Miracle Bang
After a decade of blindness, Auckland woman Lisa Reid went to bed, bumped her head and woke up sighted in the morning.
Edge Music
“Folk and traditional tunes” from New Zealand feature on the Glen Ellyn Children’s Chorus’ new CD, Flights of Song.
Coin Fever
Tennis ace Dominik Hrbaty is a New Zealand coin buff in his spare time: “They are so beautiful, so nice. Every year there is a different picture(?) and on the other side is Queen Elizabeth.” …
Murder on the Street
Shirker, penned by New Zealander Chad Taylor features a murder on Shortland Street – the place, not the programme.
John Bull (& Kiwi)
Michael Wills’ mother was a New Zealander, and his father an Austrian. Today he is charged with putting British patriotism on New Labour’s agenda.
Mahy magic
Margaret Mahy’s 24 Hours, her latest teen novel released in America, is “compelling and emotionally satisfying”.
Dream note
New Zealand-based Indian singer-songwriter Lucky Ali talks about his “upbeat, perky and positive” album and his two wives.
Slow Potato
New Zealand researcher Graham Harris’s potato digging made him a finalist in the “Slow Food” 2000 awards.
Vowels of Allegiance
The Kiwi vowel slur might be a solidarity mechanism, adopted to make late-arriving, open-vowel enunciating Poms feel uncomfortable. Give us fush or give us duth.
Edge of Menace
New Zealand-born lawyer Denise Kingsmill, new deputy chairwoman of the UK’s Competition Commission, relishes her title as “the most feared woman in Britain”.
Root Problem
ICANN, the US agency that registers regional suffixes like .nz, is trying to charge for its services. The Internet Society of New Zealand has threatened to look elsewhere for root service, raising the spectre of an…
Thatcher Revisited
Ten years after the fall of the Iron Lady, her policies still reverberate around the globe: “More than £4bn of assets have been privatised in countries as diverse as the Czech republic and New Zealand.” …
Hardie-Boys’ China Adventure
NZ Gov-Gen Michael Hardie-Boys will wrestle alligators and leap from speeding sampans as the guest of President Jiang Zemin.
Circus Ribbons
Wellington performers staged a twelve hour festival in support of international White Ribbon Day, organised to raise awareness of violence against women.
Maori Shakespeare
Te Tangata Whai Rawa O Weneti, (usually known as The Merchant of Venice), currently filming in New Zealand will “introduce the Maori language to the world,” as well as making Shakespeare more accessible to…
Oracle Speaks
Flippin heck, the Chris Dickson-skippered boat for Larry Ellison’s Oracle America’s Cup challenge does an unchartered turn during a training run on the Waitemata. The boat’s 21- ton keel “inexplicably sheared off”.
The Porn’s on You
“New Zealand Member of Parliament Winston Peters lashed out at Wellington’s National Library of New Zealand, painting its provision of free Internet access as an invitation for unrestricted surfing of porn sites and for foreigners to check…
Meat and a Green
Matthew Norman munches steak, savours Cloudy Bay Sauvignon and wonders if the man next to him has former Gov-Gen Lord Arthur Porritt’s edge vintage in his veins.
Grief Vultures
“At a conference in Auckland, New Zealand, Dr. Simon Wessely called for an end to grief counselling, which he denounced as ineffective and even voyeuristic, tossing counsellors with otherwise-humdrum lives into the same dreaded category as ambulance…
Sauvignon Savvy
Stoneleigh Vineyards’ ’99 Sauvignon Blanc: “this wine manages to have lots of tropical fruits in the nose, while maintaining the dry, herbaceous character that the grape is known for.”
Orphans of Poland
Schoolteacher Krystyna Skwarko survived the death camps of Stalinist Poland, fleeing to Persia and eventually resettling in New Zealand with her two children and 700 Polish orphans.
Digital Planet
New Zealand is the leading edge of the digital planet, with the highest IT spending (per capita) in the world.
Nuke Free
New Zealand continues to play a key role in the call for a New Agenda, successfully co-sponsoring wider acceptance of Non-Proliferation Treaty commitments at the UN.
Travel Edge
“Bungee jumping got its start here, and if dangling off a bridge by your ankles isn’t your idea of fun, there’s hiking – or “tramping” as the locals, known as Kiwis, call it – along with…
Lazarus
New Zealand First’s annual conference saw leader Winston Peters returning to traditional themes of nationalism, battling on behalf of the battler, equal rights for all New Zealanders and anti-political correctness. He also mentioned that NZF is still…
Barker on Pace
Team NZ skipper Dean Barker tops the November World Match Race Rankings, beating his lieutenant Bertrand Pace into second place.
Edge Jet
“Created in New Zealand, Jet Sprint Racing places over-powered engines into undersized boats and blasts racers through swampy, shallow and tight cornered courses.”
PM Groucho re TV
“I find television very educating. Every time someone turns on the set I go and read a book.” Helen Clark is in perfect agreement with Groucho Marx’s thoughts on the box.
Muscling In
Wellington will host the 2002 World Bodybuilding Championships. The influx of talent should put paid to the brain-drain hysteria.
Power Dressing
The Powerhouse Museum’s Fashion of 2000 features New Zealand designer Karen Walker’s “it” broken pearl dress, alongside work by Stella McCartney, Galliano and Versace.
£40m free mag
TNT and Southern Cross, Britain’s free mags for antipodean expats, have been sold for £40m. The buyer, Trader Media Group, plans to launch a complementary website.
Vagana Captured
The Bradford Bulls League team have extra muscle in the form of 18-stone Joe Vagana, ex-Warriors. “Joe’s capture will send ripples across the game,” says Bradford coach Brian Noble.
Tuna Tussle
How much is too much? New Zealand, Australia and Japan have brought in independent scientific experts to settle the row over tuna quotas.
Location location
New Zealand is hot property, drawing location scouts who scour the planet looking for the perfect waterfall or mountain stream.
Maine Marine
The US Conservation Law Foundation calls for marine sanctuaries, citing New Zealand’s flexible marine conservation scheme.
Wave of Light
National Children’s Memorial Day is dedicated to families mourning a child. The event is marked by twenty-four hours of candle light, starting in New Zealand.
Tumeke Te Nana
Karl Te Nana picked up Man of the Tournament and R10 000 after New Zealand’s winning sevens effort in Durban.
